Hey Dere, we're baaack.

It always hits me in the face the minute I land in Chicago how different Hawaii is from here. It's a completely different culture. After the musical lilt of the island pigeon-slang wafting around me for weeks on end, it is a shock to return to the terse, nasal Chicago "sout-side a-ccent" (pronounced with a long "A"). I always think back to the great Super-Fans SNL skit. We really do talk like that. Horrendous.

Then there's the whole wardrobe thing. Every time I go to Hawaii I pack an entire suitcase full of clothes only to end up wearing the same pair of shorts, two tank tops and a bathing suit...the entire time. After a week, the bathing suit becomes the most important item. It all revolves around the bathing suit. Then you start hating the one you brought from last summer... and the search begins.

Now we're back and it's snowing. But not for long. I have hopes that nice weather is around the corner. I don't want to lose my tan.

I have, however, lost a considerable amount of brain cells while watching the new Bachelor. The highlight, for me, was the overinflated Bush staffer who liked to drop names. How do these bimbos keep getting hired by politicians? This is why they are losing the public confidence. They don't have their head in the game. They're all busy trying to get shagged. (Excuse me for being so crass but does crass even have any meaning anymore? Current number of Governors in the news for salacious behavior- 3. Current number of Governors engaging in devient behavior on the sly-47.)

It's late. I'm still jet lagged. And I've just talked your head off. Ciao!