Trading Spaces Rant

I like TLC's Trading Spaces but I can't figure out why they insist on torturing the homeowners with Hildi Santos. She is terrific at creating fantasy spaces no one in their right mind would ever, or could ever, live in. Remember the million silk flowers stapled onto the walls of a bathroom? How do you dust that? And do they mildew in the steam? Ew. Then there was the recent shredded paper wall covering. She literally took trash and glued it to some poor unsuspecting homeowner's walls. Again...how do you dust that? The best part is, after wreaking design vomit all over someone's home, she gets to leave and go back to her house which I hear is all white. And I'd put my life savings at risk to bet that she doesn't have one wall covered in shredded bank statements. Another of her favorite wall coverings is silk. What do you do if your toddler puts Cheeto-fingers on that? It's nailed up there. Where is her brain? Does she have one? I think she's just sadistic. Every other designer actually seems to take the homeowner's lifestyle and needs into consideration. Hildi, on the other hand, only seems interested in outdoing herself regardless of the cost to the people that have to live with it. One particularly cruel "design" was when she put plastic containers of brightly colored candy on the walls in a home that had children. Doesn't sound mean right? They don't open. The candy is decorative. I can't even get out of Blockbuster without a toddler tantrum when we have to walk by the candy aisles. Can you imagine what it would be like to have to explain every day in your own home that the candy isn't for eating??? And then there was the hay on the walls. This girl has a real hatred for beauty. I couldn't find any photos unfortunately, but if any of you have seen this show you know what I'm talking about.

Why am I writing about this you ask? Because it's late, there's nothing else on, and I can't sleep because my matress is trying to cripple me. It's time for a new one. So I've banned myself to the couch for the night and this is where it got me. Complaining about a TV show.

New Phrases

So here are a few things that have made us laugh recently:

In the car yesterday Veronica said, "I go to sleep now." and promptly passed out with a half-eaten chip in her hand

"Mommy broke the car. It scared me!" Referring to when I rear-ended someone this week. She keeps telling everyone that I broke the car.

I made her a bed on the floor to watch a movie and she said "O Mommy it's perfect!"

When I picked her up from Sunday school yesterday, "I pooped the pants."

She's getting so verbal!

Sleepoverpalooza!

What a weekend! I'm still recovering! Kayla, Veronica's cousin, came to stay Friday night. We did so much! We went to two parks, we made cookies, hand puppets, candle votives for mother's day, picture frames decorated with painted noodles, we painted, colored, watched at least 4 movies and had a terriffic time!

I may not leave the house for a week.

Kayla was a lot of fun at the park. She watches over her cousin so well!
This is Veronica's favorite car at the park. She calls it "my car" and anyone who tries to get in it better watch out!

Double Trouble!

Look at that form! She can get all the way to the top on her own. It's awesome.

Pretty girls

Exhausted!

This is such a cute photo but I can't figure out how to flip it around.

Cheese!


kissing cousins!

A Day in the Life of the New Me

(For those of you who don't know me that well, it is okay to laugh at the following post.)

Some of you have questioned my identity. It appears that it is unbelievable to many of you that I am the one actually cleaning my house. The situation calls for photographic evidence. (Alternative title for this post was "Fun with the auto-shutter"

Please observe.

She vacuums!!!

Can I fluff your pillows?

(10 points to anyone who can name the movie that's from)

Alright. There may be some TV watching.

Domestic Goddess!

(This is what I write in that space for "occupation" when I fill out forms)

So to all of you Doubting Thomases, do you believe now???

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today was FUN! We did so much! We made leis for Daddy's party, we made pizza dough, we wrapped gifts, we decorated Daddy's chair...we decorated the house...we had so much FUN! AND here are the photos to prove it!

Mommy Musings

My Auntie Annie told me to "journal" while the little darling is sleeping so that I can write a best-selling witty book one day. Yeah. We'll see. But I thought it wasn't a bad idea to write when I have a moment.

What's new? No nursing. That's the big one. Veronica is now completely off the boobie. And what I discovered, to my horror, is that I am not the favored parent or the most loved because of who I am and how much I give to my little girl...NO NO! It was all about the boobie. Now that I don't supply the boobie on demand, I have been reconfigured in the natural order of the family to somewhere behind the Backyardigans and the dog. Daddy is now Numero Uno. I am just that annoying Mommy who keeps harping about the potty.

I'm joking about it because if I don't I'll be weeping. I really miss it. It was the only cuddly time we had and it was our special thing. Now we don't have that I feel like we spend most of our day arguing and we're both overjoyed when Daddy walks in the door so there is someone else to look at/talk to/argue with.

Today, I gave Veronica a lunch of hamburger helper mac-n-cheese and I put it in front of her and asked her to eat and she said, "Mommy! Go!" and pointed to the door.

Nice. Kicked out of my 2-year-old's room. Can you imagine what it will be like at 15? Yikes.

Veronica had a dentist appointment today! The first one. As expected, she screamed the entire time. Dr. Steve was very accomodating, and in fact got to see all those beautiful teeth quite nicely during the screeching. She has 15 teeth and 4 molars coming in. No cavities, just pretty teeth.

The weather here is finally turning and we've been outside as much as possible. It's so awesome to be out again without 9 coats and 15 scarves. Does anyone else hate it here as much as I do? It's only tolerable from May to December. The rest of it is what I imagine the 5th circle of Hell is like.

A pop-culture note: Don't ask me why I'm still watching The Bachelor. I just am, okay? But if I hear one more moron girl use the word "like" in the wrong context, and 18 times in one sentence, I'm going to cut my ears off. Didn't anyone ever tell them that they sound LIKE idiots? (note the proper use of the word.) Like, seriously, like, is there like, a school like, that will like, take credit for this, like, SLAUGHTER of the like, ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!? And as if it's not bad enough 75% of America's girls speak like this, the Bachelor this year is an Englishman and is surprisingly well-spoken. It's so embarassing. If the English are watching this, you can be assured they are laughing they're arses off at the dumb Americans and wondering how so many literacy-challenged wankers still manage to lead the free world. And yet, we do. God-willing, we will forever. But it's not looking good.